One of the things I love most about being a Pure Romance consultant is the ability to create comfortable environments for women to openly discuss sexual health. But, I wonder all the time, why is it such a taboo topic outside of the inner circle with a sex “expert”?
Well, in our society, it is not a topic that most families will talk about around the dinner table. We are made to feel as if we can’t talk about our sexual health openly and that we must keep it to ourselves. I am here to tell you that this mindset is bogus! We should not have to hide our feelings and what is going on with us just because it might make someone else uncomfortable. Too many women (and men) are not talking about things that they enjoy, or any health issues they are having “down there” out of fear of what others might think.
I heard something new the other day that made me stop and think. I was listening to an audio book called Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis and she said “what other people think of you is none of your business.” Say what!?!? I have given up a long time ago caring, for the most part, what others think of me. In my business I need to be open because if I’m not, then how can I tell others to be…
But this statement really spoke to me. I was still holding on to some fear that someone at one of my parties may not like me, or the way I do my presentation. But, it doesn’t matter. They don’t decide my happiness, they don’t put food on my table, or pay my bills. So, why should I care what they think? The same goes for every single one of you that are reading this. Especially when it comes to sexual health.
There are too many of us out there that don’t understand that a lot of the “truths” we have grown up knowing are actually quite bad for your intimate health. I want to go into detail on a few of the top concerns I have after meeting hundreds of women who didn’t know any better. (P.S. they do now!)
You ALWAYS need a good lubricant when engaging in any type of sexual activity
Yes, even if you don’t think you do, you still do. Friction can cause women to dry up, and when that happens, you are opening yourself up to a world of possible issues. One being that it is much more likely that you will have vaginal tearing. You know that burning feeling you have gotten once or twice when you are peeing after sex? Yep, that is microscopic vaginal tearing. This heals as scar tissue, and will decrease your sensitivity over time. Nobody wants that, we already have a hard enough time getting our big O!
Another big reason is that women’s vagina’s can be very sensitive to infections and our PH balance is so very temperamental. Using a good lubricant can help to prevent us from getting UTI’s, bacterial infections, and keeping our PH balanced.
Soap and water is totally fine for cleaning your bedroom accessories – Not!
No! Straight up, NO! I have heard this from women time and time again. I most definitely understand why they think this would be okay, but let me tell you why it is not.
First off, soap is not toy friendly. It was not created to be gentle on your bedroom accessories and will cause them to break down faster. Especially when you pay good money for them, you don’t want them falling apart well before their time.
Second, soap is not PH balanced and vagina friendly. Especially for those women who are super sensitive, this is not going to keep your vagina feeling very happy. This can create something I like to call, angry vagina. Soap will not kill all of the bacteria like a good toy cleaner will. It was not designed to do that. But, wait, doesn’t it do that for your hands? Well, yes it does. But that was what it was created for…your hands. So, please, if you are going to invest in a good bedroom accessory (or even a cheap one) please invest in your vaginal health as well. It is worth the money!
One thing you want to look for when deciding which cleaner to buy is that it is PH balanced. Yes, some products created are not looking out for our best interests. Just like non-sexual products aren’t always what they seem, this can be the same for sexual products. Make sure to do your research and buy one that is right for you.
Women can just jump right into sex like men can – Again a big nope!
On average, women need at least 10 – 15 minutes of foreplay that they find sexually arousing before they are ready to engage in sex. Men don’t need quite so much time. If a women doesn’t allow herself sufficient time to become “ready” she can experience issues such as vaginal dryness and discomfort during intercourse. When given enough warm-up time, a woman’s vagina will also expand and start to lubricate naturally.
What kind of activities can you do for foreplay? That is going to depend on each person. But here are some ideas to get you started:
- Using a bedroom accessory
- Receiving a body massage from your partner
- Engaging in dirty talk
- Using props like blindfolds, feathers, cuffs, etc.
There is no right or wrong way to engage in foreplay, and there are endless ways to go about it. You need to find what works for you and your partner and build from there.
Engaging in foreplay also helps to bring a new sense of intimacy to your relationship as you will begin to explore and learn new things about each other (or ourselves). One of the biggest components to foreplay (or sex) is communication. Make sure to always communicate what you like, or don’t like so that you can enjoy the experience much more.
Anal sex – Where do I begin?
First thing you need to know before ever engaging in anything to do with back door play, is that any toy you use NEEDS to have a stopper on it. This is a non-negotiable when it comes to anal. Why? Because, our rectum’s are like vacuum cleaners, and will suck up anything that goes in too far. (hint: this is why we don’t poop ourselves on a regular basis) On top of that reason, our colons don’t have an end point like our vagina’s, so when it comes time to get out what went in too far…? Well, let’s just say that it will one VERY embarrassing trip to the ER to have it surgically removed.
So, now that we have covered that…let’s talk about ways to make it more enjoyable for you.
First, you need to make sure you use a silicone-based lubricant. Silicone lubricants have bigger molecules which means it won’t absorb into the skin as fast. Because we don’t self lubricate back there, we need to make sure that there is sufficient lubrication to make it easier and more pleasurable.
Next, you need to make sure that you are relaxed. When you are tensed up, so are your anal muscles, which means that it will be a lot harder to get anything in there. If you don’t want to have a drink or 2 (but maybe don’t get drunk the first few times) you can buy products such as “Booty Eaze” by Pure Romance which will help to relax the muscles around the anus allowing you to have a much more pleasurable experience.
And last but not least, make sure that you start small and use good communication. Tell your partner if something doesn’t feel right or it hurts. There should never be pain when engaging in anal play. Communication is key in so many aspects of our bedroom life, and especially when it comes to anal.
There are so many things I could talk about when it comes to sexual health, but it would go on forever.
If there was anything the interested you, or something you had questions about, feel free to leave a comment and I will reply. If you would like to leave me suggestions on what you would like to know more about, I will work on creating more posts based on what everyone would like to know!
I hope that some of this information was helpful or intriguing, until next time…